What to look forward in a guy
There have been a number of studies proving the importance of anticipation for positive joy. This is because, on the whole, we have an expectation that future events will make us feel more emotional than ones that have passed. And the most depressed people seem to be those who believe their best days are behind them. But what about living in the present? What about mindfulness, which teaches us to live in the NOW, appreciate every moment, and forget that future and past even exist? As a big supporter of the science behind mindfulness, I sometimes find this a little difficult to square in my head, given the benefits of positively anticipating the future.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 3 Man-Melting Phrases That Make A Guy Fall For You - Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy
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Things To Look Forward To
This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure policy. Partly because:. I think it would be quite spectacular to have this URL printed out on business cards to whip out super-fast ninja-style when someone asks the question. Definitely a different list than 10 years ago. And I have no doubt that as time goes on, it will continue to evolve still. Ok, ok, you all know me. You know, The List. For me, they began back in the days of M. H anyone? To which a group of our guy friends responded with a list of their own — see above.
And then…I got really annoyed with these kind of lists. Still probably am. Well, with the exception of Tim Riggins. But to be honest, my wish list for a guy is now much shorter than it used to be. Like, naturally kind. They are the guys who genuinely want to know how you are doing. They are the guys who lend a hand or give to help someone without thinking twice. Alternative title for this one? But being able to look each other in the eye and talk about the big, the small, the serious, the funny, the difficult, the exciting, the hopeful things about life?
Basically, I consider myself a Christian, and would love to find a guy who says the same. And to each, his or her own. Someone who gets that life is not always black and white, but who believes that there is a purpose and hope and Creator behind it all.
Someone who prays, someone who is a part of a community seeking to follow Christ, and someone who humbly wants to learn and serve Him. Especially those who have really wrestled with faith and have come out still wrestling but worshipping. And big bonus if he lives in KC and can come to my church, which is just about my favorite place on earth. Heck yes! Sure, it can grow the more you get to know someone, but there has to be at least something there to start with.
And after being single this long, I damn well hope that I find a guy who makes my heart beat a little faster when I see him. Yep, was always drawn to the basketball players. I know. I feel like it should also be noted that as I get older, I tend to find more guys attractive whom I might not have considered years ago. But the fact still remains that some guys are more attractive to me, and others are more attractive to others. It all somehow seems to miraculously balance out in the world.
Ok, this one may sound weird. But I kind of hope that I find someone who has been through something difficult in life. Not that I wish that on anyone, but I feel that things like heartbreak, loss, pain, injury, grief, and disappointment have this way of shaping us like nothing else in life.
And — in a weird way, I would love to meet someone who has been through that. I told you I was way too realistic for my own good. But I would prefer to date and marry someone who has been there at least once before.
The older I get, the more I really want to make traveling and seeing the world a priority in my life. I know that different seasons bring opportunities for travel, and Disney World or a trip to visit the grandparents might be the most realistic option when you have young kids.
I guess we will see. But I guess the good news is that I at least like this list much better than the one I had a decade ago. So for all inquiring minds, I hope you enjoy it. And please know that this is NOT a call for you to go emailing this post to any and all single men you know. Your email address will not be published. Recipe Rating. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Totally thought I was reading my biography!!!
A good friend once told me the only thing on my list should be someone who treats me right, everything else is negotiable. Thanks for sharing Ali! But I have way fewer non-negotiables now than I did when I was 21! Ali, I loved reading your list! Oh, and for the record…it took me exactly 3 dates after a completely blind first date to be able to check off every single thing on my list :.
Thank you, God!! It pays to hold out for everything on your list! So sweet! I got, not a perfect man, but the perfect man for me! What a fantastic list! I had a pre-John list similar to yours, with character things as well as a few appearance notes please be handsome and healthy, please please please.
I so hope and pray this list is satisfied for you! Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing. Such a great thing to share with other women who are also seeking relationships. So glad yerrrr my friend! I had a conversation with a friend about this very issue just this evening.
I think this is a very realistic list of desires. Your list is actually quite similar to mine. Definitely not all of the same interests, but the ability to find enjoyment out of the same things. I remember thinking of these lists all the time. My favorite three:. He enjoys a lot of down time, but is an amazingly efficient problem solver and a little bit of a hustler when something needs to be accomplished.
Hey Alison, so vulnerable of you to put this out there. I know lots of guys adore you : Keep in mind no one is perfect. Emotional stability and mental health are huge. But all in all it is a leap of faith!! Vulnerability and acceptance is huge!! Not feeling I have to impress the guy with wit or energy. Girl… I think your list is awesome.
I also think your comments on him being a Christian were very well written and something that has made all the difference in our marriage we are both Christians, in the way that you described.
Great post! Your list is thoughtful, considerate and realistic and I like to think mine is much the same. Kindess goes a long way. For me, a big must-have is a lover of animals! I love my dog and seeing a guy who loves animals or owns animals is a massive attraction for me. Seriously, this is a brilliant post. Compromising does not always equal, lowering your standards. Sommer — So true!
Because no joke , I really do have a man for her!!! He does love to travel, maybe he would move??? Anywhoooo…thanks for this awesome post! Hi, Ali! And yet, His plan is perfect. Looking forward to reading some of your other posts! Please forgive the last comment. You can delete! I accidentally only pasted in part of it. Was trying to say how much I liked that section, but I only pasted your quote!
I love how you explained 3.
10 Things A Woman Should Look For In A Man
Last Thursday I picked my 5-year-old up from kindergarten and she informed me that she has a boyfriend. Evidently, when you are 5 small details like names are not important when it comes to relationships. As adults, some of us continue to struggle with knowing what is important in a significant other. I certainly did. Like so many young adults, I chased the experience of dating, grew addicted to the highs and lows of dysfunctional relationships, and suffered through bringing these bad habits into my marriage.
And you realize how content you are just staying in with the person you care about. Or just going out with them to your favorite bar. And you remember when you used to leave alone or leave with someone you might have just met. You run into someone from your past and yeah your heart still pounds sometimes when you cross paths with certain people but there is a calmness when you introduce to the two of them. Watching sports together.
The Three Little Words Couples Need to Use More
No, not those three little words. According to psychiatrist and couples expert Ish Major, MD , the phrase that has the power to not only improve your relationship, but also keep your significant other from getting bored and moving on is: I am excited. As in, "I'm excited to see you tonight" or "I'm excited about our trip next weekend" or a good old "I'm excited to get naked with you tonight". Major, who stopped by the Cosmo office earlier this week, explained that it's probably the best thing you can say to your boyfriend or husband. Even better than I love you. How come? He adds that letting your boyfriend or husband know he's doing a good job motivates him to stay at the top of his game. The phrase is especially powerful on someone you've been with for years. Major explains that it's easy for couples in LTRs to fall into a routine and forget they have the ability to excite their partners. You start to think that the most you can offer the other person is stability and comfort, and excitement becomes sort of a foreign idea.
40 Little Things You Look Forward To When You’ve Met The Right Person
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