What to consider in a man before marriage
Amy Sherman. Sally LeBoy. Kate Kelly. Jackie Krol. Joy McNeil.
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 7 mistakes to avoid before marriage by E.A Adeboye (Love series)Content:
- 100 Questions You Should Ask Before Marriage
- 6 Essential Things to Know About Your Man Before You Marry Him
- The 3 Most Important Things To Know Before You Ever Consider Getting Married
- If Your Man Is Missing These Things, Wait Before Marrying Him
- 10 Things Every Couple Should Do Before Getting Married
- What to know before getting married: Advice from a couples therapist
- 14 Traits You Should Look For In A Man Before Agreeing To Marry Him
- 8 Questions to Ask Your Partner Before Marriage to Prevent Divorce
- 18 relationship facts everybody should know before getting married
100 Questions You Should Ask Before Marriage
There's more to making a marriage work than being in love. The following 10 things should be in order too. One, I think it's a topic of conversation that isn't addressed nearly as much as it should be. I say it often because it can't be said enough—going out on dates shouldn't only be about romance and spending quality time. Once you get past around the third one and you both decide that you see a potential future together I can't tell you how many women I know who made this kind of decision all on their own; yes, you can think you are in a relationship all by yourself , the time spent really should be about getting to know each other way past the surface level.
Then, if after a few months or a couple of years, it looks like you guys are headed towards that stroll to forever, there are definitely some things that your man needs to have in place before you put on an engagement ring. For starters, things on this list that, if you take them seriously, can significantly decrease your chances of regretting marrying him later up the pike.
Clarity Concerning His Purpose media. Please allow me the opportunity to use the Bible to illustrate the first two points because, whether you follow Scripture or not, I think you'll get where I'm coming from.
What this means to me is that a man is not in the position to provide, protect or lead any woman if he's not clear about why he was put on this planet. Plus, it's going to be really difficult for you to be a vessel of support and encouragement if he doesn't know what the heck he is doing with his life. This is why I'm not big on people putting pressure on each other to get all serious in college.
College is the time to figure out what your life path is going to be with as few distractions as possible. Then, once you know, it's easier to figure out who will be a great complement for you. Your purpose, by definition, is "the reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc. Not only does this bother them, but they tend to get involved in counterproductive habits—lots of women, etc.
I get it too because there's a bit of an identity crisis that comes with not knowing what you're put on this planet to do. Do you really want to marry a man who doesn't really know himself yet? Especially since, once he finds out what his purpose is , it could totally change him as a person? Don't answer right away. Give this one some real thought first.
How can you know if your man is one of them? Does it seem like his mother is constantly at his beck and call? Does she seem to know more about his current life than you do? Does she do things for him that he really should be doing for himself cooking, cleaning, etc. Does he always seem to take her side even when she's dead wrong? I've got a friend who is married to a mama's boy. She has told me on more than one occasion that while she loves her husband, had she known how dependent he was on his mother and how much he allows his mother to manipulate him , she would've never said "yes" to his proposal.
That's a pretty heavy statement. A man who loves his mom is endearing. But if he doesn't have established and consistent boundaries with both of his parents, don't assume that will miraculously change after the two of you jump the broom.
That's something that needs to be discussed on the front end. As soon as possible too. The word "spirituality" comes from the Latin one spiritus which means "breath of life". If you think about the fact that the Scripture tells us that God "breathed life" into Adam's nostrils Genesis , it makes total sense why most of us associate spirituality with having a relationship with a higher being.
When you think about the fact that there is plenty of data to support that having a sense of spirituality makes us more humble, compassionate and forgiving, that it makes it so much easier to deal with life's trials and challenges, and that it also makes us more optimistic and self-aware —why wouldn't you want a husband who comprises all of these attributes? Someone who relies on something bigger than himself?
There's another benefit of being with a spiritual person. Author Henry Ward Beecher, "Spirituality without morality is rootless. This is definitely important when it comes to honoring their marriage vows on day one—and fifty years later. I already know. This is the discussion that people try and avoid like the plague, but if they want their marriage to go smoother, they really shouldn't.
According to reports, nearly a third of Americans have a credit score that's lower than although the current average for is sitting at around We all know that credit is important, especially when it comes to making major purchases like a home or car. Yet, you'd be amazed by how many dating or engaged couples don't share their score with their significant other. I once heard a financial consultant say that our credit score says a lot about our character. The reason why is because if we say that we're going to do something, including pay a bill, we should keep our word; that it speaks to our level of integrity.
While there are extenuating circumstances that can sometimes make this challenging, for the most part, he's right. I know the times when my credit has been jacked up, it's because of late payments or tax issues; things that I could better control if I had been more financially proactive and responsible.
Ask any wife in the world and they will scream from the rooftop that you definitely want a man who is financially on top of things. So yeah, mostly definitely, credit scores should be a topic of discussion. If his is under , I'm not saying don't marry him.
But I do think it's a good idea to give the relationship time for him to get those points up you too, if need be. Fail to plan. Plan to fail. Since one of the leading causes of divorce is financial stress and strain, it's also a good idea to see if you're dating the kind of man who makes financial plans for his future; that he's not the type of guy who is a financially irresponsible individual.
And just what does a financially irresponsible man live like? He doesn't have any money in savings; he borrows money a lot; he has little, if any money after paying his monthly bills; he uses his credit cards more than cash; if you even remotely bring financially planning or retirement up, he changes the subject; he is always spending money on things that depreciate in value like clothes, electronic "toys" and even cars , and he doesn't give you the impression that he pays his bills on time.
The reason why a lot of this stuff doesn't matter, nearly as much as it should, when people are dating is because, for the most part, their partner's money issues do not spill over into their own world. Oh, but once you are husband and wife, they most certainly will. It can't be stressed enough that if your man is crazy with money, you should pump the brakes until he can get that under control.
You know what they say—love is a wonderful thing, but it doesn't keep the heat on. So true, so very freakin' true. A couple of days ago, I was talking to a wife who has been with her husband for many years. For whatever the reason, cleaning up came up. One of the things that she said has consistently been a point of contention in her marriage is her man sucks at making up the bed and picking things up off of their bedroom floor. His lack of cleanliness in that way made it hard for her to sleep; it has even affected their sex life because she "can't relax in mess".
There are plenty of studies that support that couples who do chores together are happier in their relationship. You know what else? They have more sex too. That's why I don't care how fine he is, how well he dresses, even how great of a line-up he has—if there are always shavings in his sink, his appearance is gonna fade real fast if you make him your husband and you're always the one cleaning up after him. According to the U. Census Bureau , there are Studies also reveal that 59 percent of Black American women have children with more than one father and 24 percent of single-parent homes are led by men.
All of this is enough data to make this point a relevant one. There's one guy who I once considered "forever" with. In hindsight, I'm glad that I took a pass because he had four children by two different women.
With one woman, I could never really tell if they are fully over one another. With the other, because their child came from a one-night stand, there was always profound tension between the two of them. Between hearing about the "bond" with the first one and the drama with the second, it started to get draining—to the point of being a deal-breaker.
Being a stepmother is a beautiful thing because it is an awesome responsibility that a woman chooses to do. But if your man isn't co-parenting in a healthy way with the mother of his children, ask any woman who minimized the importance of that before marrying her husband. I bet she has days' worth of stories that will make you rethink getting married until he has peace and resolve—or at the very least respect—with the mother of his kids.
I don't know about you, but there's nothing sexier to me than a man who sees a cause and puts his own time, effort and resources into them.
Not only does it display a certain level of selflessness and sacrifice, it also shows that he cares about his community and humanity, at large. Case in point. I recently read an article about 50 Black men who were honored several years ago for the contributions that they made to their community. Keith Young teaches youth how to design and develop their own video games.
Chris Rabb teaches entrepreneurship to low-income individuals. Rashuan Williams teaches youth how to care for their environment. Norman Hurns has a youth camp for young men to develop necessary life skills. Wayne Jacobs assists ex-offenders. I have no clue what any of these men look like. I don't need to in order to already recognize something that's very beautiful about them. There's something that is just so good about a man who gives back.
It can only improve the quality of your marriage if you choose a husband who has this in his character. Tip: If you suggest to your man that he should volunteer or contribute to his community and he gives a lot of push back, don't sleep on that either. You want a man who is giving. It helps him to be a good partner for you.
6 Essential Things to Know About Your Man Before You Marry Him
When we think about finding someone, falling in love, and settling down, we rarely like to think about one of the possible outcomes of getting married: getting divorced. Divorce is, unfortunately, a real part of some relationships. And, ideally, that starts way before you even get married. Asking the right questions can start you on the right foot for married life—and help keep divorce at bay.
Marriage is a big step in a relationship. It signifies the commitment and love you have for someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. But love isn't always enough. There are questions to ask before marriage that go beyond love like children, dealing with conflicts, beliefs, finances and extended family.
The 3 Most Important Things To Know Before You Ever Consider Getting Married
There's more to making a marriage work than being in love. The following 10 things should be in order too. One, I think it's a topic of conversation that isn't addressed nearly as much as it should be. I say it often because it can't be said enough—going out on dates shouldn't only be about romance and spending quality time. Once you get past around the third one and you both decide that you see a potential future together I can't tell you how many women I know who made this kind of decision all on their own; yes, you can think you are in a relationship all by yourself , the time spent really should be about getting to know each other way past the surface level. Then, if after a few months or a couple of years, it looks like you guys are headed towards that stroll to forever, there are definitely some things that your man needs to have in place before you put on an engagement ring. For starters, things on this list that, if you take them seriously, can significantly decrease your chances of regretting marrying him later up the pike. Clarity Concerning His Purpose media. Please allow me the opportunity to use the Bible to illustrate the first two points because, whether you follow Scripture or not, I think you'll get where I'm coming from.
If Your Man Is Missing These Things, Wait Before Marrying Him
Sure, love is all you need—but doing these 10 things together before you get hitched can make married life that much sweeter. Once you decide to get married, it can feel like one swift free-fall toward the big day. See what wedding and marriage experts recommend doing together before getting married, then grab your honey and start checking things off this list. Traveling together gives you a chance to see how you each handle stressful situations, which is valuable insight for your future life together, says Marisa Manna Ferrell of So Eventful in Healdsburg, California.
Sipping my coffee, I grin over the lip of the mug. Before my wife ever gave me the time of day, she de-friended me on Facebook over the fact my profile photo creeped her out. We tell that story often when people ask how we met, but what most young couples want to know is how we continue to keep the flame lit in our marriage.
10 Things Every Couple Should Do Before Getting Married
Before you do, consider the large and growing body of scientific research on relationships: what strengthens and weakens them and what predicts long-term success versus dissolution. Below, we've put together a list of 18 nontrivial facts about relationships to consider before you hire a wedding planner. According to a study by the University of Pavia in Italy, it lasts about a year. After that, levels of a chemical called "nerve growth factor," which is associated with intense romantic feelings, start to fall.
When my husband, Joe, and I got engaged, we had known each other for about a year—and I had never been more sure of anything in my life. A year and some change after our wedding, we still marvel at the fact that our futures are forever joined, and it only took us a year to make that decision. For some, in different circumstances, dating for a year before proposing might seem like a gamble. But Joe and I lived near one another and close to where we grew up; we got to spend a lot of time together, with one another's families, and with our friends. It was much more than proximity though—I think we can mostly thank having important conversations over and over again. Addressing the big and little issues early and often made choosing a lifetime commitment in marriage easy.
What to know before getting married: Advice from a couples therapist
Invest into your future family by implementing the right habits and eliminating unhealthy habits. When I was a young boy, I had the privilege of spending some time with my Great-Grandfather. He was a hard-working farmer who had raised nine kids and built a house with his own hands. He never lived to see smart phones, but he probably would have thought grown men playing PokemonGO were wasting their lives. He was a tough man.
14 Traits You Should Look For In A Man Before Agreeing To Marry Him
8 Questions to Ask Your Partner Before Marriage to Prevent Divorce
18 relationship facts everybody should know before getting married