How to not be a rebound guy
Nothing temporarily numbs the sting of a breakup quite like a rebound relationship. Yes, they can occasionally be totally toxic, but under the right circumstances, they can actually be really beneficial. Hell, sometimes they can even grow into something amazing! This only works, however, when both people in the rebound are on the same page about what the relationship is. In other words, there are few things more cruel than dragging an unwitting new partner into your emotional baggage while letting them believe your new relationship is the real deal.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Being Her Rebound Relationship
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 4 Signs Your NOT A Rebound Guy!Content:
- This Is Why A Guy On The Rebound Is So Appealing . . . and So Dangerous
- The Full Guide to Successful Rebound Relationships [From Her]
- How To Get Over Someone Who Used You As A Rebound
- 15 Signs You Are The Rebound Guy In That Relationship
- Online Resources
- 14 Undeniable Signs You’re Someone’s Rebound
- How To Be “The Guy” And Not The Rebound Guy
- How to Avoid Being a Woman’s Rebound Guy
- 14 Signs You’re the Rebound Guy She’s Using to Get Over Her Ex
This Is Why A Guy On The Rebound Is So Appealing . . . and So Dangerous
We think that getting in to a new relationship will make us feel better. We think a new person will help us get over our ex faster. The best thing to do is to avoid rebound relationships altogether. Unfortunately, healing takes time and a new relationship is likely to fail unless we take the time to heal.
So, your best guy friend just got out of a relationship. Be a shoulder to cry on and offer advice as appropriate, but be sure to set some good boundaries. The emotional connection and trust is already there, which makes you the perfect target for all of his post breakup feels. When he does share with you and you do comfort him, the emotional connection deepens and the boundaries can get blurry.
You may both get caught up in all the feels and fall for each other. This is especially true if either of you has had feelings for each other in the past. To avoid being his rebound, make sure that you make it clear that you two are just friends. This will probably feel really good. We all love getting attention from guys, especially new guys. But resist the urge to jump every time he hits you up.
Rebound relationships usually arise out of a need to replace what was lost. Ease in to the relationship and move at your own pace.
If he wants to hang out, you can hang out during non-bedtime hours. While giving him the finger. Breaking up means a lot of feels. Guys are really unfamiliar with being vulnerable, so being vulnerable makes them really uncomfortable. They work out a lot. They go out with their buddies. They pursue another woman. Instead of attacking the feelings head on, they try to go around them. This is where the rebound girl comes in.
Being his rebound girl will just mix things up more. Try to disengage from his messy feelings from his breakup and encourage him to work through those feelings before he pursues a relationship with you. Women are taught to compete with each other, especially over men. Break the cycle. Shut him down when he wants to reminisce about his ex.
Do you want to be in a serious relationship with this guy? Are you just looking to have a little fun? One of the worst things about being a rebound is when your expectations for the relationship are not met.
It may be tempting to get in there and scoop him up before another woman gets to him. If you move too quickly all of his feelings will still be confused and he may not be able to discern how much he really likes you. The relationship may start really well but fizzle quickly when he has time to process. Getting close to someone right after a breakup is tricky territory. When he sends those feelings your way it can be really intense and passionate. It can be really exhilarating.
You may both get caught up in the excitement and newness of this budding relationship and want to be around each other all the time. Getting too involved too fast is always a recipe for disaster. You do you and have a ton of fun. For the rest of us, sex adds a new level to a relationship that makes things more complicated.
This is especially true for guys who have just gotten out of a relationship. Adding sex to the equation too soon can cause all sorts of problems. Or he might realize that he does want to move on, but not with you. Sometimes getting really emotionally intimate with someone really quick is just as precarious. Getting this level of emotional intimacy from a guy can make you want to share too. Guys who are just getting out of relationships are looking for something from you. Well F that.
Some people really need to be single for a long time before they can move on from their previous relationship. Women are taught to believe that they should be satisfied with any attention men are willing to give them. Many women have very low self esteem and they try to feel better about themselves by seeking attention for men.
These women end up as rebounds all the time. No matter how much it hurts, they think they deserve to be rebound girls. You do not deserve to be a rebound girl and you need to believe this in order to not become one.
Do yourself a favor and believe that you deserve more. Women have really great intuition. This is total BS. Ask yourself why you feel that way. If your stomach gets all tied up in knots, pay attention to that. Getting close to someone who just got out of a relationship always sets up the risk of being a rebound.
You can avoid this by setting appropriate boundaries and always putting yourself first. Robin Zabiegalski is a freelance writer for digital media publications and her work has been published on The Establishment, The Tempest, xoJane, and Kinkly.
She is also an occasional writer of short fiction and satire. Robin has a BA in Professional Studies from Johnson State College and she is passionate about feminism, body image, writing, snowboarding, and backpacking.
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The Full Guide to Successful Rebound Relationships [From Her]
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Update: A previous version of this article contained quotes from an expert whose credentials are now in question. We have reached out to him for confirmation of those credentials and have not heard back. Dating someone new can be exciting, but sometimes the person you're dating isn't totally over their previous relationship and it can lead to a "rebound relationship. According to Psychology Today, a rebound relationship can occur when someone's dating a new person without being entirely over their ex.
How To Get Over Someone Who Used You As A Rebound
We think that getting in to a new relationship will make us feel better. We think a new person will help us get over our ex faster. The best thing to do is to avoid rebound relationships altogether. Unfortunately, healing takes time and a new relationship is likely to fail unless we take the time to heal. So, your best guy friend just got out of a relationship. Be a shoulder to cry on and offer advice as appropriate, but be sure to set some good boundaries. The emotional connection and trust is already there, which makes you the perfect target for all of his post breakup feels. When he does share with you and you do comfort him, the emotional connection deepens and the boundaries can get blurry. You may both get caught up in all the feels and fall for each other. This is especially true if either of you has had feelings for each other in the past.
This article is about turning a rebound relationship into something more serious. Download it here:. It will be sitting in your email inbox. Anyway, I want to tackle some important concepts here in this article to help you turn your rebound relationship into something that can last longer.
So you have found yourself a new relationship. It's probably a little nerve-racking and you probably are thinking that this person is feeling the exact same. Well, you're probably right. Sure there are lots of things to take into consideration when you're starting a new relationship.
15 Signs You Are The Rebound Guy In That Relationship
Use old embed code. Hide old embed code. A few weeks ago, I saw the post above.
I had absolutely no clue who he was, but being the curious cat that I am, I egged the conversation on to see if I could conjure up a memory. Since he gave me his first and last name, I looked the guy up on Instagram. As recently as three weeks back, he was posting cozy photos with a very stylish brunette. A quick jaunt over to her account showed much of the same. God bless public profiles!
For many men there comes a point in life where he must decide whether he wants to be a rebound, or would rather have his ears stapled to the bumper of a moving semi-truck. BUT regardless of how the meet happened, the idea of being a rebound gets a bad reputation for two main reasons. Now if you really like the girl you should be extremely careful about putting yourself into the rebound zone similar to the friend zone but with more bow chicka wow wow. Women who are looking for a rebound are not always in the right frame of mind to distinguish between actual feelings and fleeting feelings; most of the time, having a rebound is about having time and space while rediscovering what you want through a non-committed and no-pressure relationship. Granted, the execution can be confusing; I say that as a woman. However, here are a few points to remember when navigating the role of a rebound:. Too much niceness may make you an easy target for emotional dumping.
The good news is that it does get better. But right after a break-up, we enter a period of insecurity and sadness. So, what do people do? They jump into another relationship.
14 Undeniable Signs You’re Someone’s Rebound
Probably one of the most difficult relationships are rebounds, and the aftermath of a rebound relationship breaking up can be a real doozy. When you are trying to figure out how to get over someone who used you as a rebound, your healing process can feel like it's blocked by your anger at feeling invalidated in the relationship. All of those emotions are completely valid, and you ought to allow yourself to feel them fully. But Strang says that there are also other layers to breakups and the ensuing grieving period that can allow you to do some deep spiritual work on yourself.
How To Be “The Guy” And Not The Rebound Guy
How to Avoid Being a Woman’s Rebound Guy
14 Signs You’re the Rebound Guy She’s Using to Get Over Her Ex