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How to make a girl get emotionally attached

You know that sexually transmitted disease that the majority of men never experience symptoms of? Not HPV, the other one: emotions. I've had them. I'm pretty sure every woman reading this right now has had them. Men have actually them, too. They may not know it, but they certainly do spread them.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How to Get Women Emotionally Attached

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 5 Reasons Why You Get Emotionally Attached Too Soon - Adam LoDolce

The Truth Behind Why Women Find It Harder To Have Casual Sex Than Men Do

An emotional connection is one of those fleeting, powerful things that can seem all too rare and all too outside one's control. It can seem like it's just chance when you happen upon one -- as if but by the grace of God it came into being. But it doesn't have to be. Just like succeeding with women in general -- just like figuring out how to launch businesses and succeed financially -- just like anything in life -- the ability to build an emotional connection is something that can be learned.

Most people don't like to hear that. Most people want to think that all in life is pure happenstance and nothing other than fate determines the outcome of their lives.

But those of us actively in pursuit of bettering ourselves and of mastering the skills to control our own destinies know better -- that a lot less in life is chance than most folks think. And learning to connect with people on an emotional level is one of the most powerful, practical, wide-reaching skills you can possibly learn.

If you haven't given much thought to this one before, it's high time you started. What the idea of "the other" holds is that every person sees everything else in the world -- including every other human being -- as being either the same as him or herself -- or other.

It's easy to gather how othering -- as the verb form is called in psychological parlance -- would serve to keep our ancestors living and thriving. Those who aren't with us may be against us and need to be watched carefully and be subject to suspicion, unless and until they can prove they're on the same wavelength as us.

Even today, in our far safer world with a far lower mortality rate than at any other point in history, othering helps keep us safe ; it protects us from people who might potentially be a threat to us and helps us stick to those who understand us best and ally with us and are most likely to help us succeed and go to bat for us in times of need.

For the seducer though, and for anyone else who seeks to achieve mastery at building emotional connections with others, the question of the other presents a unique problem -- and an unparalleled opportunity.

That's because most people are very good at positioning themselves as the other , and not so good at showing how they are the same. And emotional connection, at its very core, is all about helping others see you as the same as them: as someone who gets them, is bonded to them, and understands them to the quick of them.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. First things first: you need to realize the things you're doing that position you as "other" in the mind of girls you like. And before you can do that, I want to call your attention to how you view some women as "other" right now.

First, think of a certain kind of woman you dislike. Maybe it's those Barbie dolls who dress themselves up and think so highly of themselves -- all you want is to get a real girl. Maybe it's fat women if you're skinny, or skinny women if you're fat -- who wants a woman that disgusting fat or that much a bag of bones skinny? Or maybe it's the hardcore feminists and the women's libbers -- if anyone falls into the "other" category for most men, it's got to be them -- they hate men!

And now that I've got you all riled up thinking of your most hated enemies in the opposite sex, stop and think. Are they really all bad, horrible, good-for-nothing people? Do they really have nothing to offer to humanity? Or are you just broad-handedly, ham-fistedly, categorically tossing them into a stereotyped category of "other" and deciding they're stone-hearted individuals who simply can't be related to as people? If you stop and you're really, truly honest with yourself, you'll realize they're people just like you are and just like the people you don't consider "other" are, and there really isn't anything wrong with them.

They're just living a different life you don't fully relate to, and they have different reactions to you and feelings about you too. But tackling your own list of others isn't the object of this post.

For doing some internal work in that regard, check out " Reference Points and Changing Worldviews. I just wanted to point out that "the other" is very real and a psychological mechanism we're all subject to.

And that includes the women you meet. You see, most men, while trying to build an emotional connection with women, inadvertently tend to flip girls' "other" switches. They do some knuckleheaded things that get them booted out of contention for the same and quickly slotted into the other.

Let's define what most guys are doing wrong These are the mistakes most guys end up making that poison their ability to really connect and bond with a woman. And if you want to do better than most guys, you're going to need to do a little better than this. You want to get out of ending up considered "other" and into being thought of as "the same. The man who knows how to build an emotional connection is the man who's able to control his own fate, so to speak, when it comes to connecting with others.

He's no longer at the mercy of destiny, hoping for that spark to manifest; instead, he controls its manifestation. To build an emotional connection though, you're going to need to do the opposite of what most men do -- the opposite of those places we just laid out above, where most men go wrong. You'll need to be focused on bonding instead of whatever it is regular guys are focused on proving how amazing they are, I guess?

Some of this is going to be similar to what we talked about in " The Conversationalist ;" if anything sounds familiar, just view it as a refresher. Some of it's going to be different. All of it's going to be focused, first and foremost, on building that emotional connection and avoiding the label of "other" that so many men put themselves into.

Most important about all of these is that they're signature markers of "sameness" and identify you as in-group, rather than out-group. They let you skirt the stigma of "other" that so many men seem so good at getting slapped onto their foreheads, and aid you in building a real, genuine emotional connection with women. Futher, once you're good at knowing how to build an emotional connection, you become that rare individual others can connect to well -- distinguishing yourself from everyone else.

The ability to build an emotional connection allows you to build friends and allies with on a highly consistent basis. And, it makes you a heck of a closer -- you know that, given the opportunity to talk to a girl, the two of you are probably going to end up connecting very well.

All you really need to start is a focus on connecting, instead of obliviously blundering into "other" territory like most guys do. Knowing is half the battle Chase woke up one day in tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating.

After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends plus plenty of failures along the way , he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System. Skip to main content. How to Build an Emotional Connection.

A lot of it is skill. So, for a while, those kinds of women got tossed into the "other" category for me. Who's in your other category? And once you're an "other," good luck trying to get a girl to do Men are a lot more susceptible to this than women are for some reason. Okay, not "some reason" What's a contentious opinion? Let's say you're talking to a girl, and the two of you talk about exercise. What a silly waste of time that is. By way of another example, say she makes the off-hand remark that she absolutely loathes men who spend hours watching sports every week The instant she states that opinion, you feel less connected to her.

That's the kind of thing you want to avoid doing to women -- but so many men do it, and keep doing it, more or less obliviously. Failing to build consensus. Women are very good at building consensus. Men often aren't. The men who fail to build consensus regularly tend to leave women feeling ignored or marginalized when they make unilateral decisions; women can end up feeling their needs haven't been attended to, and they lose a lot of connectedness to the man making the unilateral decision.

This, you might say, is bad form. You can still be the leader and still direct things your way; in fact, women typically will be looking for you to make the decisions and lead the charge.

But they still want to feel included. When men fail to include women in the decision making process and instead make those unilateral decisions, women end up feeling left out -- not just of the decision itself, but of the man's consideration altogether too.

Never going beyond the superficial. Deep diving is an effective tool for a reason: it gets women telling you about themselves, beyond the ordinary, and bonding to you on who they really are. You aren't "other" if you know them and get them to an intimate degree. Most men never do this though, and instead let their conversation remain in the realm of the common and the surface-level. Forgetting to actively listen and provide good feedback. As discussed in the post on becoming an exceptional conversationalist , one of the things that makes a woman begin bonding to and relating to a man is his ability to show her that he's listening to, relating to, and understanding what she's saying.

Most men don't do this, either because they aren't really listening, or because they're too caught up in trying to be impressive to really be there in the moment and feed back to a woman what she's saying. When a man fails to feed back a woman's conversation to her, she feels like her words are falling on deaf ears -- on ears that don't really care. Thus, the man she's talking to must not relate -- he must be "other. How to Build an Emotional Connection You want to get out of ending up considered "other" and into being thought of as "the same.

Here are the tools you'll need to build an emotional connection: Avoid arguments and contention, and hold your tongue on divisive opinions. At least until you're fairly certain she shares those divisive opinions of yours, anyway. You're very nationalistic, and she's from another country? Probably not a great idea to get into singing your home country's praises too loudly. Instead, talk about stuff you can both agree on -- interests, hobbies. Maybe both of you like art, or played sports in high school, or hate office desk jobs.

Doesn't matter what it is -- so long as it's something you relate to each other on. Build consensus. You don't have to hold a vote, exactly, but you should ask for buy in. Like so: "I'm thinking we should hit the pizza parlor.

10 Signs A Man Is Emotionally Attached To You

What is an emotional connection? If you listen, are there signs that tell you that you are bonding with someone? Why is finding that level of emotional security so difficult with the opposite sex? Learn the ins and outs of an emotional connection and why it is necessary to bond emotionally in order to build a relationship. Defining Emotional Connection Each person individually defines what an emotional connection means to her, but there is a basic definition that can apply to all people.

Whenever he feels good you feel great. It makes you extra happy to have him flash a smile at you.

He'll fall so madly in love he won't ever want to let you go. In short, it's understanding the key factors of how to make a guy fall deeply in love with you by first getting him to become emotionally attached. The reason for this isn't that men are "commitment phobes," as so many would have you believe. As we all know, physical attraction fades over time, and it's the quality of our emotional connection with each other — or the lack thereof — that makes or breaks a relationship. Everyone wants to be accepted and loved for who they are, but many women make the mistake of dating a guy for his potential, i.

How to Build an Emotional Connection

You have to set boundaries fairly early on. You have to establish a set of rules for the both of you to follow — and you must both agree to these rules. And the moment that either one of you breaks these rules, then you have to end it. Be very strict with your boundaries and expectations. That would be cruel. The less you interact with this person outside of your physical relationship, the better it would be. It helps a lot to not be engaging with a person if you want to maintain a sense of emotional detachment and distance with them. Keep things physical. The act of spending the night over just has a lot of emotional implications that come attached with it. So after you do the deed, just get out of there and head straight back home.

This Is Why Strong Girls Get Attached So Easily

Want to be the man that she constantly thinks about? We women desire to be wanted by a man just like a man desires to be wanted from a woman. But the ultimate connection happens when you understand how a woman thinks. We are completely different than men in the way we process things and in terms of what makes us fall in love.

It will send a shockwave of desire for you straight to his brain and he will HAVE to have you.

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How To Make A Man Feel Deeply Attached To You

Reviewer Whitney White, MS. He can't stop thinking about you. He'll go to the moon and back for you and will do whatever it takes to make you feel happy, safe, and loved.

Okay, obsession may be a strong word, but there are biological reasons why women become more emotionally attached to their lovers than men do. At the turn of the 21st century studies were conducted to better understand romantic attachment. The results were quite jarring to say the least and it was discovered that orgasms cause both oxytocin and vasopressin to be released from the hypothalamus, which is the part of the brain that is responsible for pleasure and mating. Although the two neuropeptides associated with continued attachment are secreted in both men and women, oxytocin and vasopressin have stronger influence on women. Vasopressin is most compatible with testosterone, but luckily for us ladies, oxytocin and estrogen make a more powerful couple. Did I really just say, luckily?

11 Ways To Get Physically Intimate With Someone Without Getting Emotionally Attached

The fact that you flirted with her was enough. The fact that you gave her attention was enough. The second that you smiled at her, it was all over. She was locked on you. She believes in their potential.

Feb 6, - Unlike women, who like to express themselves with words, men may hide their Lastly, we have emotional attachment, which is the final stage of attachment When a man is emotionally attached to you, he'll do practically.

Subscribe To Our Newsletter! Ask Men experts have done the research and studies that undercover useful and often clever pointers to make women chase you. Time for you to pay attention so you can use these tactics and watch the girls swarm you! Most guys seem to have mastered the art of screwing up from the starting gates when it comes to women. The majority of men let their nerves get the best of them and when you are sweating and acting insecure, you are openly turning any girl off stone cold.

10 Signs you are emotionally attached to him!

True and genuine interaction with woman can bring you unprecedented joy and can be a great lifetime booster. But as anything important in life, it takes effort, time and devotion. No input, no output - life is fair actually. Log in Facebook.

Why Women Get More Attached (Blame Biology!)

Reviewer Whitney White, MS. An emotionally attached person may feel connected to another person based on their personal feelings or emotions for them. A person may feel attached to another after their relationship has ended.

An emotional connection is one of those fleeting, powerful things that can seem all too rare and all too outside one's control.


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