Dealing with ex wife and girlfriend
Editor's Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear. We seem to keep having the same fights about his needy ex-wife and the negative impact she has on our relationship. Despite my wish to appear mature and chill, I have a strong distaste for the ex-wife.
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How Not To Be Jealous Of His Past - Matthew Hussey, Get The GuyContent:
- How to keep peace with your husband’s ex
- Dealing With Ex Spouses
- How to keep the ex-wife out of your relationship
- 6 Tips for Dealing With Your Boyfriend’s Ex-Wife
- 3 Tips for Dealing With Your Partner’s Ex-Spouse
- 15 Tips for Dealing with a Toxic Ex-Spouse When Children Are Involved
- Dear Therapist: I’m Dating a Divorced Man With Kids, and It’s Harder Than I Thought
- How To Handle An Ex-Husband’s New Girlfriend
How to keep peace with your husband’s ex
I have written in the past about the fact that there is more than one aspect to a divorce. First is the legal divorce, where the judge ends the marriage and a document known as a Judgment of Divorce or similar paper is entered with the court legally ending your marriage.
Just as important, and in some divorces of overriding importance, is the psychological divorce. The psychological divorce is the ability of one or both spouses to move on to the next chapter of their lives. In particularly nasty divorces, one or the other is unable to move on due to anger, bitterness, and emotional or psychological problems, just to give some examples.
The more toxic an ex-spouse is, the more problems there will be moving forward, especially if there are minor children. The most important point to remember is that your children are the innocent victims of your divorce. Do not put them in the middle of your ongoing battles. Do not show them the court papers. Do not alienate the children from the other parent. Remember that children understand more than you realize, and the more power they are given, the more that they are going to manipulate and play one parent against the other.
Try to step back and remember that your children should be free to love each of their parents unconditionally. Henry Gornbein practices in all areas of Michigan family law including divorce, child custody, parenting time, child support, spousal support, prenuptial and postnuptial agreements, interstate custody issues, domicile issues, as well as mediation and arbitration of all family law matters.
He is certified as a mediator as well as in collaborative law. He is frequently appointed to mediate and arbitrate domestic relations matters. Yes, and children should be free to love whoever they choose, based on respect and love shown to them.
If their father is a functioning alcoholic, is now living with a woman who cheated on her own husband with their father… while the father was still married to the mother and they are teens and have decided that they will spend time with their father as they choose… then what do you say to those teenagers? They are 17 and What is a parent supposed to say about that?
Amen sister, we always make excuses in the courts for dads on substances. I have the same story of currently divorcing a cheating, functioning alcoholic man. So difficult to begin a life of co-parenting.
If a man had done everything she has, they would be in jail. What can be done? I feel your pain, this is happening to use right now. I am in the same situation however I am the mom, its outrageous what my ex is trying to. He as well is in contempt of everything in our divorce decree and nothing. I believe both kids deserve both parents lets just get along for them.
Hate it. I have custody but have a lot of the same issues with him and his gf saying horrible things to my 6 year old. Sometimes you women standing waiting like little scalpers need to give the first marriage a minute.
You will be there eventually. How can this be dealt with? Do you give up and not try communicate with the daughter or what? I have a similar ongoing experience that has been going on for over 5 years. Continues with any and all interactions with my ex. I do not believe that will never change. I have joint custody and the time I have with my children I encourage them to be everything they want to be and love them unconditionally while trying to shield them from the anger and crazy actions of their mother towards me.
She can act however she wants, you only have control over your own actions. They say they usually get better at about My nephew was rotten to my brother at 15 also.
My 15yo daughter is rude, a knowitall, and antisocial. What do you do if you are going through a divorce with someone who has assaulted you and you have little kids involved.. The children had witnessed it and have gone through so much over the course of a few months….
This sounds like a familiar story…. Why use the kids as a battlefield???? Just do it peacefully…divorce.. This is so not true about gender bias, I have an ex threatened me and kids out of our home, moved new gf in next day. I was stay at home mom. Has threatened with weapons and broke every court order. I have even threats posted to me and extended family on social media. Because family has helped us place to live, food,etc.
The legal system is not in place to help anyone. It fully supports abusers, psychopaths and narcissist to continue abuse on the victims, by not holding them accountable. I have been divorced now for 9 years, and my ex is as evil as they come. She has tried to turn the police against me several times , the legal system against me, our common friends and family, and most of all my three children — all of whom are now adults. Other than my loving partner who is my rock and psychological counterbalance -there appears to be nobody on the planet I can to turn to.
I just want to live in peace, and continue a nice loving relationship, with my kids also included in my life. Last December my ex told my two girls that I had molested them when they were infants. My son witnessed her rant, and expressed that her motive was to keep the kids away from me last Xmas. Im trying hard to ignore her behaviour, but I can now see evidence of the psychological impact her fairytales are having on my eldest daughter.
Can anyone offer advice on where to seek help? I have gone through it twice and my first son hates me because of the alienation that was imposed on him by my ex girlfriend. Now my ex wife is doing the same to our children and it is all that I can do to hold on to their love for me.
I have to fight for it and it is for their best interest that I do so. I have no advise, because their is none to be given that would stop an ex that is tricky enough to circumvent and work the system. I have only this for everyone. Try to hang in there and be strong. It is so hard to do sometimes, but it must be done for our children. I feel like such a Hypocrite typing this, because I have not been as strong as I should have been around my children at times, but I am still here fighting.
I can relate to everything you just said. We had a couple of hearings and the last one I was prepared for.
My ex got to speak first. None of which is true. So when I went to speak, the judge cut me off after about 15 seconds. I really felt like he was being a sexist jerk and completely biased.
So neither party won but leveling with my ex is just impossible. I totally feel for you ,keep fighting and the children will see you never stopped loving them? My ex moved miles away from his children blaming me for him having to make a fresh start?! I am seeing that now with my wife, who has threatened many times to divorce me … she uses it as a power trip. She has physically attacked me in front of the kids and this last time she was arrested. She is the toxic one. She surfs all over my social media though.
There are some relatively Simple Solutions. Keep up with all of their academics. Read the books they are assigned. Meet regularly with their teachers. Volunteer in any reasonable way you can at their school. If you stay in touch in the most detailed ways you can even imagine, you will have substance to share with your children.
So throw out the lazy and act like you have sole custody, even if you do not. Be there. Show up. Keep up. So stuff together like cooking. The children clearly will know which parent is checked in and which parent is checked out. I agree with so much of this conversation regarding dealing with toxic ex in regards to the children but however I must speak up on one fact regarding using Family Wizard.
No one and I mean absolutely no one monitors Family Wizard even though the attorneys and the judge were linked to see it. It was unbelievable what she was allowed to say to my son on this app. Needless to say, my son refused to sign up for Family Wizard anymore and now he does have control over listening to her harassment because he can just simply not answer her text messages or hang up on her if she calls him.
Dealing With Ex Spouses
Unfortunately, this kind of tit-for-tat, grudge holding, problem, or whatever we want to call it is even more frequent than we could imagine. It happens even in the best families. And we do it for the good of the family. Like it or not, extended or blended families are on the rise.
Your spouse's previous marriage can be hard to stomach, especially if their ex is on bad terms with both of you. For example, you might be worried your spouse still has feelings for them. In that case, find some time to talk to your spouse about these insecurities, as simply talking about them might help you feel more confident in your relationship. For more help from our co-author, like how to navigate a relationship with a widow or widower, scroll down.
How to keep the ex-wife out of your relationship
If you've been divorced, there's no getting around dealing with ex-spouses, especially if you have children. This can be a hot button issue not only for the spouses that got divorced, but also for their new partners in life. If you're wondering how to handle some of the issues that may arise with your ex-husband, the following input from our life coach can help:. What bothers me is that he talks to her more than he talks to any of his other friends. He tells her a lot of personal information He also thinks that it should be okay with me to let him go out to lunch with her every once in a while without me. I'm not okay with it!
6 Tips for Dealing With Your Boyfriend’s Ex-Wife
I have written in the past about the fact that there is more than one aspect to a divorce. First is the legal divorce, where the judge ends the marriage and a document known as a Judgment of Divorce or similar paper is entered with the court legally ending your marriage. Just as important, and in some divorces of overriding importance, is the psychological divorce. The psychological divorce is the ability of one or both spouses to move on to the next chapter of their lives. In particularly nasty divorces, one or the other is unable to move on due to anger, bitterness, and emotional or psychological problems, just to give some examples.
If your ex-husband lied to you, betrayed you, shared secrets and a bed with this girlfriend while you were married, your thoughts about her are probably not anything good. I wondered if I should actually meet the girlfriend, while I was still so hurt and angry. I definitely could understand crimes of passion when another woman is involved.
3 Tips for Dealing With Your Partner’s Ex-Spouse
It's me. The Ex-Wife. I'm not sure if you exist yet fully, but to all the women looking to get romantically involved with my ex, I figured I would send out the messenger pigeon. Goodness knows I was hoping to not hear about one of you either.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: ex-wife acting out in front of kids.
15 Tips for Dealing with a Toxic Ex-Spouse When Children Are Involved
Dear Therapist: I’m Dating a Divorced Man With Kids, and It’s Harder Than I Thought
How To Handle An Ex-Husband’s New Girlfriend